Of Kisses and Tomato Sculptures
by Spursendipite
Summary: Francis comes to visit when Antonio isn't home... poor Lovina! Spamano. Rated for Lovina's sailor mouth and for Francis being Francis. Human names used because this is a genderbend fic.


Lovina quietly peeped from behind her door. No Antonio – so far, so good.

She felt the sculpture in her hands; it was not nearly as round or as perfect as she would have liked. In fact, it was quite lumpy. Lovina definitely didn't have the artistic talent that her sister, Feliciana, possessed.

"Bonjour, mon ami!" an irritating voice sung from outside. Even though he wasn't even in the house, Lovina shivered as there was a series of raps on the front door.

"W-wino bastard!" Lovina called. "What the fuck do you want?"

There was silence, and Lovina felt relieved. And then she heard a clicking noise from behind her, followed by a loud thud.

Lovina dropped the sculpture in surprise, but luckily it landed on the carpet.

"Francis," she started angrily, turning around to see that the Frenchman was on the floor. "What the fuck are you doing in here?!" She noticed there was an open window. He must have climbed in through it.

"Ta chambre? Je suis désole!" he exclaimed, jumping to his feet. "I was looking for Antonio!"

Lovina sighed and crossed her arms. "I think he's out getting turtle food."

"Okay. I shall wait for him here, then." Francis smiled. "Today is his birthday. I have a gift for him!"

"I know it's his birthday, dammit!" she said defensively.

A smile crossed Francis' face. "Oh, do you? Onhonhon," he laughed.

"Shut up, you bastard! I live with him! Of course I know that it's his birthday!"

Francis raised an eyebrow. "Is that the only reason, Lovina?"

Lovina could easily see what he was getting at. "I don't like him that way, dammit!"

"Well, then," he said, wiggling his eyebrows in a way that made Lovina shiver. "Maybe you and I can have some fun, oui?" he said, stepping towards her.

Lovina took a step back, and Francis took another step forward.

Lovina took another step back, and her half-opened door became a wide-opened space. She was now standing in the doorway, looking at Francis's… hungry eyes. She turned and darted down the hall, until she reached the end of it. Because the Italies were not made to turn on a dime, Lovina ran right into the wall. She fell to the floor with a plunk.

Francis merely walked to where Lovina was struggling to get back up onto her feet. He picked her up and admired her as one would do a puppy.

Hazel eyes glared into blue. Blue eyes gazed back into hazel ones.

He then kissed Lovina lightly on the nose.

"Chigii!" Lovina screeched. "Bastard, put me down! Put me down!"

Francis paid her no attention remarks. In fact, he kissed her right on the lips as soon as she stopped squirming and screaming.

Lovina blinked. Francis slung her over his shoulder.

Lovina then started to beat on his back as if her life depended on it.

Francis ignored the fists pounding on his shoulders, and continued on his merry way, until he was in Lovina's room… again. Francis shut the door.

Tears soon sprung into Lovina's eyes. "Please," she begged. "Please don't hurt me! I'm young

Francis set Lovina down on the bed, and pulled her into a hug. "It won't hurt!" he replied, quite confidently.

"You bastard!" she shouted. "Leave me the f-"

There was a click, and the sound of a door opening somewhere.

"Mi amor!" someone called. A certain Spanish someone.

"ANTONIO!" Lovina screamed frantically. "Antonio, save me, dammit!"

Lovina heard a paper bag drop to the floor, followed by the sound of hurried footsteps. In a moment, they stopped… at the exact moment Lovina's door was flung open.

"Mi amor! Are you okay?!"

Lovina glanced at a frightened Francis. She burst into sobs.

"H-he t-tried to r-r-" she struggled between breaths.

An enraged look passed over Antonio's face. "Get out of here, Francis."

"But your gift!" the Frenchman whined, as he produced a red rose from one of his colorful sleeves.

"Get out!" Antonio looked deadly serious.

Francis stood up, crossing the room to stand beside his friend, and held up his rose but Antonio only shook his head angrily. Francis looked at the floor in disappointment, and then he left quietly. A short time later, Lovina then heard the front door slamming shut.

Antonio flung his arms around her, tightly, and she sobbed even harder.

"Oh, Lovina, oh, shh, it's okay! I bought some ingredients for pizza! We'll have that in a few days, on Valentine's D- Hm? Lovina, what are you staring at?" he inquired.

Lovina looked away from the red lump on the floor, but it was too late. Antonio had already followed her gaze.

As her sobs faded into sniffles, Antonio let her go. He then leaned down, picking up his gift.

"Mi amor," he said wondrously, as he turned the tomato sculpture in his hand, "You made me a present!"

Lovina frowned, and shoved him slightly. "Bas-" she started.

She would have said, "Bastard!" had Spain not been able to keep his lips to himself.


End file.
